I’m going to try not to dwell on the awfulness of last week, but yes, I had a(nother) rather awful week, so I’ll just put down the highlights.

At the end of my recovery from the week I spent in bed, I began to develop some new side effects.  My tongue became very sensitive, my throat was sore and my lips began to swell.  None of these were sudden, like an allergic reaction, but built gradually over the weekend.  While I found it odd that lips looking like Angelina Jolie’s were a side effect of chemo (who knew), I was generally feeling well and received my 8th round of chemo (Taxol only) last Monday.  Just before my chemo infusion, I noticed a rash developing on my chest.  It was also on my torso, but it didn’t itch, so I just chalked it up to another “little indignity” of treatment.  The infusion went fine and I was home around 9:00 p.m.

Around 5:30 the following evening, I began to get chills and feel a fever coming on.  My first temperature reading was 100.5 – Argh.  Within about 20 minutes, it had risen to 101.3 so it was back to the emergency room.

Long story short, I was admitted to the hospital Tuesday night and stayed until Friday.  The infectious disease doctors were concerned about a possible infection around the tissue expander (again), so they pumped me up with major IV antibiotics.  I also tested positive for the flu, which probably explains my miserable week before.  And the rash appeared to be in response to one of the antibiotics I had been on before entering the hospital. I also experienced several bouts of vomiting. But for me, the worst problem was that my lips were no longer just swollen.  It felt as though they had been sliced by razor blades. They hurt to be touched, even to drink from a cup or use a straw.  If I managed to  bypass my lips and drop some food into my mouth, my tender tongue made eating anything harder than oatmeal impossible.   I hate to be graphic, but I had to literally rip my lips apart upon waking in the morning, tearing skin from each lip in the process.  But if that’s not graphic enough for you, Google ‘severe mucositis images’ and prepare to lose your lunch.

After some debate between my oncology doctors and the infectious disease team, I was allowed to go home on Friday with a sack full of pills and liquids.  I had to make a chart to keep track of my medications – the ones taken twice a day, the ones four times a day, the ones for eight days, the ones for 21 days … Again, I think of people for whom medication is a daily hassle and am thankful I have not experienced this outside of cancer treatment.

Fortunately, my recovery since I’ve been home has been swifter, though not swift enough.  I had to miss an important event for one of my closest friends on Saturday when my lips were still in the Frankenstein-Licks-Barbed-Wire phase.  Those are the things I did not want this treatment to take away from me and I’m still heartbroken about it.  But my lips have healed about 75%, my mouth feels better, my appetite is good and my energy is returning.

The other good news is that I’m off the hook for Taxol this week (thanks, primarily, to another rash that developed yesterday).  The plan is to hit me with my last Taxol/Carbo combo next Monday, give me some shots to keep my blood counts up, and then knock out the last two Taxol treatments on schedule and be done.  So I have this week off, and then (hopefully) three weeks to the finish line!

While in the hospital, I whittled away some of the time watching home renovation and home buying shows.  One series helps people find affordable homes near the beach.  At the end of each episode, the new owners are shown on their deck or balcony, sipping a drink and enjoying the views.  I thought, “That’s all I want right now – to be able to sit outside with a glass of wine.”  I don’t even need the beach views or colorful sunsets.  So that’s the image I’m keeping in my mind – raising a glass to celebrate the end of this (fill in the blank) journey!